


This Is Not A Party (It's A Hurricane)

by briar_rxse



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Multi, currently set in seattle but that's highly likely to change, i might put michael in just because i like him, it's a teaser for a multichapter fic i'm working on, musicians au, oh and rating is g for this specifically but will definitely be higher for the actual fic, please read the author's note it'll explain a lot more, sherlock's mentioned and might be in it too, the rowdy 3 will be in it but as kind of minor characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 20:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15915960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/briar_rxse/pseuds/briar_rxse
Summary: ‘Okay team, the plan for today is as follows,’ Dirk jerks back to reality at the sound of Tina’s voice. ‘I had a chat with the manager of TMF and she says that-’‘TMF?’ Mona butts in. Dirk knew that she wasn’t going to be directly involved with anything relating to the band due to being focused on her own launch, but he had assumed that she would at least know the name of the band that they were there for.‘The Mexican Funeral. Newest, greatest up-and-coming indie band Seattle has seen in a while. We want them. We need them. This is going to be big.’





	This Is Not A Party (It's A Hurricane)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a project that I have had a plan for sitting around for since late last year, and I've decided to finally give it a go as a creative side project for me to do while I'm at uni. I am hoping to get most of it finished, or at least somewhat fleshed out, before I start posting regular updates, but I thought I'd post a little taster in order to see what people think, and whether they'd like to see more.  
> Ergo, this is a rough draft of what will be the first chapter. It is completely unedited and probably a bit of a mess and the formatting is meh, but I'm posting it anyway so that people can see if it's something that they would like to read or not. The relationships in the tags are relationships that I have planned to be included as of right now, but it is entirely possible that some changes might be made as I work on it.  
> I am hoping to also create a playlist to go with this fic (since it's a musician au and all) where each chapter will have a song, but I haven't started that quite yet so there is no song for this chapter. I can tell you that the title is from 'This Is Not A Party' by The Wombats, though.  
> Anyway, please enjoy this mess of a teaser, and please let me know if it's something you'd like to see more of.

Dirk hasn’t even had the chance to put his suitcase down before Tina is rushing into his room, babbling away about something he cannot even begin to comprehend considering the fact that he didn’t fall asleep on a 10 hour overnight flight from London to Seattle. He just wants to get into his bed and stay there for at least 12 hours, but Tina is to overly animated for him to have a chance of doing that. He shuts his eyes and counts to ten slowly before opening them and allowing the world to come into focus once more. Tina’s words finally become clearer, and he realises that she’s talking about a meeting that’s been set up with a band that’s caught the eye of Hobbs. The band is half the reason that he’s come stateside, along with Tina and his best friend Mona. Technically, Dirk has no reason to be there. After all, Tina’s job is to get this band, The Moroccan Festival or something equally nonsensical for a group of what sound like hipster kids, to sign to Holistic Records, and Mona is attempting to launch herself onto the American market with a bang. Dirk was, once upon a time, an intern assigned to help Tina out, but after 3 years he was still around, and so wherever Tina went he would follow, even if he had no business really doing so.

  
Not that Dirk minds hanging around Tina all the time. He admires her straight-up tell-it-like-it-is approach to things, and she can be a lot of fun sometimes. No, he has nothing against Tina. He just prefers Mona. People in the industry often describe her music as unique, and Dirk admits that she does have a very distinctive style, but in reality she is far more quiet then people assume her to be from her music. It’s as though she puts on a persona as soon as the music starts playing, but when it’s just her and Dirk she’s happy to sit curled up with some flavour of infused tea and listen to him ranting. Tina is loud in a way that clashes with Dirk’s own loudness, but Mona is a softer person, and Dirk often finds that soft is just what he needs.

  
What he really needs right now is for Tina to leave so that he can get at least a little rest before he must turn his attention to actual responsibilities, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen any time soon, so he resorts to unpacking his suitcase instead. The hotel they’re staying in is more luxurious than anywhere that Dirk and Tina are usually put up in. There are no suspicious stains on the carpet of his room and the bathroom door can close and lock properly. Dirk figures that three rooms of a similar standard must be costing the company quite a lot of money, but if they manage to sign a new band they’ll probably be able to bring in enough money to cover it, and if they don’t, well, at least they can cry themselves to sleep on 800 thread count sheets. Not that Dirk is planning on doing any crying on this trip. He’s already done enough crying to last a lifetime.

  
Tina eventually leaves. She turns right when she leaves, which means that she’s either going to bother Mona in the hopes of actually getting a response, or she’s going in search of snacks. Dirk isn’t awake long enough to find out which, because as soon as the door closes behind her he falls headfirst onto the bed, asleep before he even has a chance to turn off the light.

* * *

 

When he wakes up, he is staring at a white ceiling and his legs are stiff. He shakes one of his legs out a little, before rolling to the side of the bed, standing up and untucking his shirt. He falls asleep in his clothes more often than he used to nowadays. Back when he was in school he would occasionally wake up well after his alarm, still in uniform after pulling an all-nighter to finish an essay or a piece of homework, and he would have to rush to get on an ironed shirt before he left the house. Nowadays he was constantly staying awake beyond what were considered healthy limits and woke up almost daily in the clothes he had been wearing before. There’s always a little feeling of luck when he wakes up without his jeans on, because if he forgets to take him off his legs don’t treat him well for it in the morning. Today is, unfortunately, not a very lucky day. Dirk unbuttons his jeans and sits on the bed to pull them off, running his fingers along the lines left behind after he’s abandoned the trousers on the floor. It’s still dark outside and he figures he probably got at least a few hours before Tina’s knocking down his door and demanding they go to breakfast, so he pulls out a pair of soft flannel pyjama bottoms and pulls them on before making his way to the bathroom. Cold water wakes him up properly, and a glance in the mirror above the sink reveals pale skin and eye bags, but Dirk’s used to that by now. He gives his refection a slight smile before walking back out of the room and over to his discarded suitcase, pulling out a folder labelled ‘The Mexican Funeral’. Since he’s up, he might as well be researching the band they’ve been sent on a mission to sign.

Tina bursts through his door just over an hour later, reminding Dirk that he should lock his door before he goes to bed tonight. He puts down the sheet of paper he’s reading and allows himself to be dragged down to a small dining room. Mona is already sat at one of the tables eating a bowl of what looks like porridge, save for the purple blobs. Whatever it is, Mona looks fairly content to be eating it, so Dirk goes off in search of some food for himself. Three slices of toast and an underwhelming chocolate milkshake later, Dirk bacs up his chair to leave, but is pulled back into his seat by a surprising forceful Tina, who has taken a break from shovelling cold baked beans into her mouth to fix the other two occupants of the table with a ‘let’s get to work stare’. Dirk wants nothing more than to go back to his room and finish reading up on The Mexican Funeral, but when Tina means business it’s always a good idea to listen to what she has to say, so Dirk tucks his chair back under the table and rests his chin on his hands. Tina was quite good at making meetings short and somehow invigorating, and it was unlikely that their day would be starting right away, considering all that Dirk had heard about rock stars not waking up until the early afternoon. Tina would never schedule a meeting with a band in the morning, especially considering there was no guarantee that she’d be up before noon either.

  
‘Okay team, the plan for today is as follows,’ Dirk jerks back to reality at the sound of Tina’s voice. ‘I had a chat with the manager of TMF and she says that-’

  
‘TMF?’ Mona butts in. Dirk knew that she wasn’t going to be directly involved with anything relating to the band due to being focused on her own launch, but he had assumed that she would at least know the name of the band that they were there for.

  
‘The Mexican Funeral. Newest, greatest up-and-coming indie band Seattle has seen in a while. We want them. We need them. This is going to be big.’ Tina rambles on, having completely lost her train of thought due to the interruption. ‘Right, yes… I was talking to their manager, she’s great by the way, really knows her stuff, seems like she’s really on top of things with the guys. Okay, so she says that we should just get going with negotiations on this contract right away, and I totally agree so we’ve got a meeting this afternoon at 4.’

  
Dirk lets out a breath he didn’t notice he was holding. The meeting is in the afternoon, and later than he thought it would be. He definitely has time to finish reading everything in the folder to avoid making a fool of himself. He’ll never admit it to anyone, but he’s anxious for this deal to go well. While he is getting paid for his work, he is still on the same salary he had when he started interning for Holistic Records, and if he’s a big enough asset to Tina and Mona while they’re in the States Hobbs might finally remember to give him a raise. Money isn’t much of an issue for Dirk at the moment, he makes enough to live, and he’s saved a fair amount over the last five or ten years, but it’s would be nice to make a little more.

  
Tina’s moved on from explaining the details of the band meeting and is going over Mona’s schedule for her album launch and a few gigs and interviews she’s has already booked in the Seattle area. Dirk has a copy of Mona schedule in another folder in his room, but he knows it like the back of his hand, and he knows that Mona does too. She may not talk nearly as much as him, but when she has over the past month or so, it’s been about her career. He knows the venues, the setlist she’s going to use, even the outfits she’s hoping to wear at each event. He wouldn’t say he was quite as excited as she is, but she is his best friend and he wants everything she’s got planned to be a success. He’s going to help her all that he can. He just hopes that he isn’t going to end up going back to England without her.

  
The dining room is beginning to empty, and Tina and Mona appear to be wrapping up their discussion so Dirk bids them farewell, telling Tina that he’ll come to her room at 2 to prepare to meet the band. He doesn’t think he can take her showing up unannounced again for at least a couple of days. He loves her, but she can be a little imposing sometimes, and she doesn’t half make him jump with her habit of popping up out of nowhere. He returns to his room and picks up the pages that he left strewn across his desk earlier that morning, continuing to read the short profile on the frontman of The Mexican Funeral.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback would (again) be very much appreciated and can be left as a comment here or as an ask/message [here](https://briar-rxse.tumblr.com/). You can also hit me up on tumblr if you'd maybe want to beta for me. I've never had a beta before but I think it could be quite benificial when it comes to the time I'm actually publishing the fic.


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